Wedding Day
by PollyMogs
Summary: What really happened that day in the town square.
"Couldn't we do this in the mayor's office?" she whispered from the corner of her mouth. Irritation flickered as he recalled the conversation with his mother. "Mom..."

She hooked her pinkie finger around his. _I get it._ Some of the tension left his body as he squeezed it. _I know you do._

"…first arrived in Pelican Town, no one knew if she'd fit in with our community."

"Remind me to give him his birthday present", she whispered. Startled, he shot her a silent question. She nodded imperceptibly at Lewis, biting her lip to suppress a smile. Her eyes sparkled mischievously. _We're upstaging the mayor on his fucking birthday? I love it._ A snort of laughter escaped and he cleared his throat to cover it.

"But from this day forward…"

"No wonder he looks like someone peed on his pancakes", he breathed. The grip on his finger tightened and froze. _Stop._ He glanced at her. Her normally pale face was bright red and she was biting her lip hard enough to draw blood, looking anywhere but at him. _Delicious_. He smirked and cleared his throat again. She shot him a look, half pleading and half warning. _I will murder you in your sleep if you make me lose it in front of the whole town._ His hand was clenched hard enough to crush stone. He winced and relented _. Noted._

"It is my great honor on this day 7 of spring to unite..."

The hand holding his was trembling. He tightened his grip. _Hang on. It's almost over_. Two finger-taps: _No._ He looked at her. Her shoulders quivered in silent laughter. He waited. _What?_ She took a deep breath and squeaked, "S-S-Sam…"

"…in the bonds of matrimony."

 _Sam?_ He searched the crowd in the town square. _Too many people_. Finally, he spotted his best friend standing half-hidden by a streetlight. As he watched, Sam dragged his sleeve across his eyes. _Is he_ crying _?_ _Oh, this is too fucking perfect_. A slow smile spread across his face as he contemplated a lifetime of Epic Humiliation.

"As mayor of Pelican Town…"

Sam saw him watching and sent him a look of resigned hatred. He chuckled. _No shit, dude._

"Sebastian!" gasped Robin.

"Sorry, Mom!" popped out reflexively. _Did I say that out loud?_ He looked around wild-eyed, his face burning. Lewis' habitual scowl had transformed into a disbelieving glare. _Fuck!_ At his feet, his bride had lost the battle to maintain control. She knelt on the cobbles, clutching her ribs and howling with helpless laughter, tears leaking from her eyes and trickling down her cheeks. His lips twitched. _No help there._ He could hear Sam laughing triumphantly. _What a fucking mess. Now what do I do?_

From somewhere behind Sam came a noise like a bike with a bad intake gasket. Doc Harvey was already moving toward old man Mullner's wheelchair. The old lady bent to look at his face, then stepped aside as Harvey gently laid his hand on her arm. He knelt in front of his patient, reaching for his wrist. Mullner slapped his hand away. The wheezing got louder.

"Maru, get my bag". She ran toward the clinic.

The square had gone silent, except for the awful noises from Mullner and Harvey's calm murmuring. A cool, calloused hand crept into his and he squeezed it gently. _I'm here_. He didn't get it, but she loved the miserable old bastard. _Don't you fucking die, old man. Not today._

"Doctor Harvey…" Old lady Mullner approached the pair timidly. Harvey tried again to take Mullner's wrist. The old man swatted him and Harvey fell on his ass, his glasses askew and his hair flopping into his eyes. _Sweet_.

"I'm sure he'll be fine, Mrs. Mullner. I just need to check his vitals." The doctor straightened his glasses and smoothed his hair.

"But Doctor Harvey", she protested, "George is laughing."

He stared at her, dumbfounded, as a tide of laughter rose around them. Somebody cheered. _Fucking Sam_. A door slammed behind them and he turned to see his sister struggling with a giant relic of a leather bag. She stopped, confused by the laughter. He smirked. _Should I tell her? Nahh…_

The horrible wheezing had stopped. A raspy voice mimicked, "I'm the mayor of Pelican Town" followed by a grating falsetto, "No shit, dude". More wheezing. Giggles erupted beside him. _Fuck you. I don't sound like that._ Somehow, he was wearing a lop-sided grin.

"Serves ya right, ya pompous old windbag."

The old monster winked at him. _Great. I have a crush on a hundred-year-old asshole._

"Hrumpf". The square quieted again as Lewis cleared his throat loudly, glaring daggers at the old man. "Where were we? Ah…"

"As mayor of Pelican Town…" He paused to look levelly at Sebastian, "…and bearer of the regional matrimonial seal, I now pronounce you wife and husband. You may kiss."

They tried. But their lips refused to pucker around wide, infectious smiles. Their teeth clicked instead, as if toasting the beginning of Them. It was done.


End file.
